I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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