The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
