wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
