you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
