i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
