Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
