I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
