i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
