So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
