An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
As shirtless as possible
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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