So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So. Much. Porn.
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