Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize