'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I touched a dick in church today
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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