btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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