Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
