after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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