I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
