he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
