Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
