She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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