Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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