What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I supernannyed him into submission
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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