Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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