Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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