Already got asked if we're dating
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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