No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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