just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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