where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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