So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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