Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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