a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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