im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
