you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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