So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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