I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
