i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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