i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
