No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
