This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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