Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Your cock deserves a montage
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
