tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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