kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have feelings that need drinking.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
