Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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