The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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