question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
