I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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