Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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