Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
