Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
