is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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